October is a funny time of year for me. For the past 12 years it has been significant because its my eldest daughters’ birthday. But for the past 6 years, its also had an edge of darkness to it. As I log in to my social media accounts each October, I am reminded of photos from this time that show me a period of darkness in my life.
6 years ago I experienced a very sudden spiritual awakening. My second child was three months old, and I was experiencing severe post natal anxiety. It appeared overnight, with a multitude of symptoms, including panic attacks, insomnia, and sudden weight loss. I remember feeling an overwhelming sense of fear, and for the first time in my life I couldn’t shake it.
Over the past two weeks, all the photos from this time have again appeared in my news feed. Each year until now, I have seen these photos and felt a sadness. I have remembered the darkness of this journey, how isolating it was for me, how afraid I felt, how the photos of me with my children hid the truth.
This year I have had a different reaction. This year, 6 years after my spiritual awakening began, I look on these photos and feel something completely different.
I feel gratitude.
The darkest time in my life, was also the experience that brought me home. I woke up one day in October 2010, and the veil had been lifted. Even though I didn’t realise it at the time, I was feeling energy all around me- my connection to the divine had be re-awakened. My awakening was sudden, and scary. I was hearing spirit, seeing spirit, and feeling spirit, and I didn’t understand what was happening.
That was 6 years ago.
Today, I work as an Angel & Energy Intuitive. I am a clairvoyant. I am a psychic. I am a medium.
I speak to spirit, and the Angels every day. I feel safe and protected, every day. I have found a part of myself that I had forgotten existed, and a peace and love that is so overwhelming and comforting, that I no longer feel afraid. I have not experienced anxiety in years, and if I do sense those feelings within me, I now know that there is a spirit around me who needs my help to return to the light. This is how my body alerts me to their presence.
The universe helped me heal. I was brought a handful of incredible female lightworkers at each stage of my journey to help me through my experience. These women helped me sleep when I couldn’t, helped me re-balance, helped me realign, helped me step into my path gently, at my own pace. These women were my healers, then my mentors, then my peers, now my friends.
I remember feeling terrified of the spirits around me. I just wanted them to go away! And yet, as I sought help from an incredible Clairvoyant, she also told me that one day I would do this work. And I remember thinking to myself “ha, no WAY that is going to happen”. And yet here I am, and deeply grateful to be here.
If you have experienced a spiritual awakening, or are experiencing one now, I want you to know that there IS a light at the end of the tunnel. I want you to know that the journey is important, and that the fear will go away. I want you to know how loved, supported, held, and SAFE you are. I also want you to know that you are important. That the fear is here to remind you of your worth, and your path. The fear stepped into my life and said “HEY, wake up, this isn’t what you came here to do! You came here to do SO much more, and you are off track. I am here to put you back on your path”. And it did. And today, I couldn’t be more grateful for that wake up call.
Thank you for reading,